1: Enola Gay

This one is very unwieldy, apologies for that. Hopefully this will improve over time, or maybe this is just the way it has to be. It's not complete, after three or four days I said "that's enough". I have no idea how far from the end of the Sisyphean task I was, but I only lasted as long as I did due to stubbornness and the fallacy of sunk costs.  My coverage was, however, as exhaustive as it was fated to be, no more, no less.

Enola Gay's Spotify presence is quite a different shape to I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper. For a start, it appears on actual OMD albums: 

• Organisation (2003, Virgin Records Ltd (version of a 1980 album))
• The Best Of Orchestral Manouevres In The Dark (1992, Virgin Records Ltd (version of a 1988 album - the 1992 copyright is a puzzler, as far as I can tell that's just the date the DCC version came out - also this album seems to have always been called The Best Of OMD))
• Peel Sessions (1979-1983) (2000, Virgin Records Ltd)
• The OMD Singles (2003, Virgin Records Ltd (French version of a 1998 album with an extra CD of remixes))
• OMD Live: Architecture & Morality & More (2008, Eagle Records)
• Live in Berlin (2011, 100% Records)
• Dazzle Ships (Live at the Museum of Liverpool) (2015, White Noise)
• Architecture & Morality - Dazzle Ships - Live At The Royal Albert Hall (2016, White Noise Touring Under exclusive licence to Live Here Now Limited)
• Souvenir (2019, Universal Music Operations Limited (the swanky 5CD version))

It also appears on the following compilations:

• This Is... 1980 (2008, Parlophone Records Ltd, a Warner Music Group Company)
• Mega 50 - Die 80er Jahre (2010, EMI Music Catalogue Marketing, a division of EMI Music Germany GmbH & C0. KG)
• Essential: New Wave (2011, Parlophone Music Belgium)
• Best of British: Classic Hits from the 80s, 90s and 00s (2012, Parlophone Records Ltd, a Warner Music Group Company)
• New Gold Dreams (Post Punk & New Romantic '79-'83) (2013, Universal Music Catalogue)
• Greatest Hits: New Romantic (2012, Parlophone Records Ltd, a Warner Music Group Company)
• TOTP - The New Romantics (2017, Spectrum Music)
• 80s Pop (2018, UMG Recordings, Inc.)Top Of The Pops - 1980 (2017, Spectrum Music)
• Capodanno 80's Party (2019, UMG Recordings, Inc.)
• Cinematic Reflections (2019, UMG Recordings, Inc.)

 

Universal showing that majors can do shitty covers just as well as the cowboys

When it comes to the cover versions Enola Gay is different from I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper in that there is more than one that is by a proper artist rather than one that only exists on and for Spotify. Scooter. The Hillbilly Moon Explosion. Nouvelle Vague, Mélanie Pain. Gravity Noir. Outloud. Deepberry. Cardova. The Sexmachines. Henry the Rabbit. ".T.N.T." (yes, with four dots - they seem to be actually called TNT but I guess this is their way of making sure Spotify doesn't call them Tnt). Matt Pazio. The Faint. Surrender. René Binamé. Loan Sharks. Abíilo Santos, Antônio Ribeiro. SPIHA. I Fratelli McFly. Hazmat. Samantha Sax (two versions, a smooth jazz one and a more generic one). Hispanico Latino, Giorgio. The Punk Group. Sorrowhearts. Zé Luis & Xavier. Sha'Dong. Monogay. Tiago Neto, Paulo Fragoso. LCE ft. Merayah. Basil Isk. F & F. Empatic. Wolfcry. Hugo. New Fresh. Josep Aznar. Genio & Pierrots. The Moon Loungers. Even I have heard of a couple of those. To give you some idea of where I draw the line I'm allowing Gravity Noir as a proper artist even though I had trouble finding any evidence of them except for their wikipedia page which is threatened for deletion due to lack of notability - there is, at least, an assertion that they are a real thing. And Samantha Sax, her content is very much shovely, but it's on albums that are just her, and some of them even have her on the cover. So she's a person, and belongs here. Hispanico Latino appear almost entirely on shovely-looking albums, and they seem to specialise in bachata (the hottest dance from the Dominican Republic), but they do have a bachata single on Spotify so I'll let them in. Sha'Dong are sneaky bastards, their album Best of the 80's and More - Liquefy looks super shovelly, but they seem to be a proper band which did an album of 80s covers and gave it a shitty cover as a joke, but they have mostly done their own stuff. Their name is quite promintent on their covers album, that's a bit of a giveaway.

sometimes an actual band likes a bit of cheese

I like some of the versions. Just to prove I'm actually listening to all these (not always in their entirety, admittedly).

does the job, I guess

We have one cover version that is a hybrid. Partenaire Particulier were a proper French synthpop band in the 1980s. Now they (one original member and a new guy) have a new album called New Wave 80's, which has new recordings of some of their own old hits but also the likes of Blue Monday, Just Can't Get Enough and Enola Gay. But they did do a proper album less then ten years ago when already down to the one original member, so it's not quite like in the 1980s when something that qualified on paper as The Searchers or The Tremeloes (due to the drummer and maybe the bass player) would record rotten new versions of their hits in some bloke's four track in Bacup to be sold on cassette in garages as The Best Of... For one thing, the original member does seem to be the frontman, and also, it's not bad. The album definitely has one foot in the 'Spotify shovelware' camp though.

Also with one foot in the Spotify Shovelware camp are MS Project, or Ms Project as Spotify call them. They have done proper stuff, but they have also done albums like "The 80's Remixes Collection, Vol. 1" which includes a version of Enola Gay by "Ms Project, Orchestral Manouvres In The Dark". The cover takes a different tack with labelling it's all 2011 and feat, e.g. '"Dolce Vita 2011" feat. Ryan Paris', '"Saddle Up 2011" feat. David Christie'. You get the idea.

DJ Hush is an enigma. His version is on the 2016 album "New Wave (Remixes)". It's probably not pure Spotify shovelware as a lot of the names on the album seem to be minor 1990s Italian dance artists, so it's probably the DJ Hush that released a single in 2000, had another couple of tracks on split singles and then released about a hundred zillion tracks on Juno as individual releases between 2004 and nine days ago. Deepberry, listed among the proper artist covers, is also an Italian dance artist that basically seems to just release single tracks on mp3 in a possibly slightly spammy way, so that might be a thing, and if so that might become its own category.

We also have our first false friends - different Enola Gay songs, by The Danglers. KGBigboub. Matthew Skud. Driver. Lars Eric Mattsson. Raw Flowers. Conor Oberst (out of Bright Eyes). Utah Phillips (famous, in his field). Moderat Likvidation. J.Roly. Hat Check Girl. Descending Chaos. Light Entertainment. Cescbeat. Kate McDonnell. Koetjesrape. Trötte Theodor. Reign Ghost, Lynda Squires. Rosalie Sorrels. Peau. Kelle. Oscar Escapa. Father Flamethrower. Witchhammer. Alberto Costas. The Goodtime Clubsters. Roberto Riberti. Enolagay. Suzanne Jarvie. Yooda. Mark Kilian. William C Harrington. Anda. Pascal Rinaldi. The Sugarettes. Andrés Calamara. Jose Galisteo. RickHardt and All the Social Bull Shit. Adam Barber. Superjunkie. Alain Roche Trio. The Bedrockers. Quasar Wut-Wut. Ludwig Von 88. Nersesian. Fred Hassel. Jean-Michel Kajdan. Popperman. Distúrbio Mental. Andrea Ghirotti, David Coianiz. The Yellers. Digital Air. And "Spearfish, Darren Wharton, Laurence Archer, Mikael Fassberg, Nils Patrick Johansson". I've heard of Darren but won't bore you with the details in what's already a very long jump. There's a weird one that's basically just a beat for about a minute by Spagnoli & Bigaroli on an Italian compilation called FAST MUSIC SELECTION 2020 where all the tracks are about a minute long and another one called Enjoy Your Night which is mostly like that but also contains a few longer ones. (A couple of days later I found that it was also on a couple of their own albums - 2018's Syncopated and Urban and 2019's Latino Urban - Chill Out House Beats. The latter seems to be just the former with a few tracks missing. And the tracks are all a minute to a minute and a half. Doesn't seem the ideal track length for chilling out.)

Another first - the 'different style' covers. Some proper covers by proper artists on Spotify are in different styles, these isn't those, this is when their sole purpose is to be on albums like "Belouis Some's Greatest Hits Done Klezmer Style". Often on Spotify these are literally for babies. Like lullaby versions. In this case we have a 'jazz chill' version, a 'string orchestra' version and a 'string quartet' version (a perfect example, as Midnite String Quartet, who done it, seems to have shat out a huge number of albums like "MSQ Performs Mumford & Sons". I didn't make that up, that's an actual thing). And lo and behold, on day three or four of this jump (I've lost track since I could no longer see the light of the tunnel entrance) there's a lullaby version, on "80's Electro Synth Pop", one of a zillion albums by  lullaby specialists The Cat and Owl.

Another first - a film soundtrack - Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa.

Hard EDM Workout have a version an their album 80s Aerobic Cardio Hits: 60 Minutes Mixed for Fitness & Workout 140bpm/32 Count. They have loads of exercise albums. In future jumps we will learn how much this is a thing or whether it's just a Hard EDM Workout thing. Later, I see that Enola Gay also kicks off a 30 minute dance mix on Fitness '80, one of DJ Omidia's albums, which are nearly all fitness-themed, so I guess that fits here too.

We have some Spotify artist credit strangeness for "Enola Gay - OMD Vs. Sash!" which is on the 2003 The OMD Singles. Who do you think that's credited to? That's right - "Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark, Topaki, Sash!". Whuh? Who the nu shooz is Topaki? Well, you see, what is, is, Sash! is one those groupmen. That is, Sash! is a guy, but Sash! is also three guys. Topaki is the two guys in Sash! that aren't Sash!. So what's this... did they fall out, and they get a separate credit now? It seems not, it seems that the "OMD Vs. Sash!" version of Enola Gay always said in the credits that it was remixed by Topaki. So the "OMD Vs. Sash!" version is really the "OMD Vs. Two of Sash! But Not Sash!" version. I'm not an expert in Sash! politics though.

Pure Spotify Shovelware versions seem to be by Ab Group. The Pop Posse. 80s Angels. Summer Benny. James Alleman & Le Freak. Road Band. Longhorn. The Revival. The Top Club Band. Enola Two. The Bombardieers. The Legend Orchestra. Chill Virtual Experience Band. Electro Machine. Music Machine. Vital Fire. Next Rebound. InstaHit Crew. "Andy Mc. Key". Factory. The Top Orchestra. Planet Countdown. Sunset Patrol. Locked In vs Locked Out. Up Choir. "Ultimate Pop Hits". Summer Collection. Instant Gratification. Turbo Style (the version responsible for us being here). "Mixed by Dj Sam" (sharing an album with Saddle Up again). "Backing Tracks From 70'S And 80'S". "Hits Of The 80's". "60's 70's 80's 90' Hits". "The Hit Co., The Hit Co., The Popcorn Buckets, The Wedding Singers" (that's two artists, the first Hit Co and the rest of it - this version appears elswhere as just by The Hit Co.). "Billboard Top 100 Hits". And "Various Artists, 80s Greatest Hits, 80's Pop Band" - I shit thee not, every track album (The Best 80's Party) is credited to those three 'artists'. This is the purest Spotify Shovelware we've seen yet. On "Amazing 80's" the same version is by "80s Greatest Hits, Various Artists, The 80's Band". It also appears as simply by "Various Artists" on one, and... oh, it's the Vital Fire version! Checking again, the Summer Benny, Road Band, Enola Two, Bombardieers and Factory versions are also the same as each other. Also The Top Club Band, Top Orchestra, Up Choir, Ultimate Pop Hits and Instant Gratification versions are the same. The versions by 80s Angels, "Hits Of The 80's" and "60's 70's 80's 90's Hits" are not only the same but on albums with the same name and same artwork, cloned on Spotify.

 so hard to choose

Disco Fever I'm going to allow as pure Spotify Shovelware despite them having their own singles. You'll understand why when you see the covers of their 2011 and 2012 releases of the same version of Enola Gay, and the state of their stuff generally.

some things are worth going over the edge for

There is what appears to be a Spotify Shovelware version by "Mc Clusky" from 2013, but a look at the album "Synthesizer Greatest 3" tells the story - what appears as the artist credits are really the writing credits - one thing when it's "Mc Clusky", more problematic when it's "Vangelis". Thie is actually a shovelware CD from 1989, and it's by Ed Starink, although if that's mentioned anywhere at all on the CD it must be in the smallprint. There's also a similar but not identical version on Spotify by "Star Inc." - you see what he did there? There's even another, non-Enola Gay-related album on Spotify which credits both Star Inc. and Ed Starink. Other Shovelware CD artists doing Enola Gay on Spotify are Dutch Trance Force and Gary Tesca Orchestra. I think that Mechanical Mach's version proably was but not under that name, for contextual reasons I won't bore you with.

An Oddity is Steve Bale. His album New Wave 80s 90s, which features his version of Enola Gay, is basically typical  Spotify Shovelware - it even features a Spotify phenomenon we've not seen before on Ribbit Hole, the mistitling to catch errant searchers - "We Can Dance If We Want To", "Hey Mickey You're So Fine" and "Shoot That Poison Arrow" are the songs you think they are. But he has also done some songs with their proper titles, and the album is copyright himself, and I wouldn't be suprised if the small distant figure on the cover is him. It also seems to be his only album. I guess we could call this Cottage Indie Spotify Shovelware.

Definitely not going to go into the karaoke versions this time, except to say that there are some. 

A special WTF to Mystique, who are doing something I've never seen before, which they presumably had some reason for doing but I can't imagine what. Their "Enola Gay" is on their album "Space Oddity: Tribute To David Bowie Part 2", which has a beautiful cover as you can see. What the Hezbollah is Enola Gay doing on a David Bowie covers album you ask? Simple, it's actually Heroes. The whole album is randomly mistitled Bowie songs. It starts with "Info Riot", which is Absolute Beginners, and ends with "Twilight Clone", which is Ashes To Ashes. I checked out some of their other albums, tributes to other artists with the same artwork except the appropriate artist's name at the top, and they were all correctly titled. I can only assume that a computer went mad with this one. Later, the plot thickens - the same album appears as Tribute To David Bowie by Starman, same tracks, same titles, different order - the difference is, that one has one genuine Bowie title - China Girl is called "Ziggy Stardust", whereas on the Mystique album it's called "Piggy Stardust".

 

how do they come up with this stuff?

We seem a long way from where we started. Enola Gay. A nice song by Orchestral Manouvres In The Dark, Nicely produced by Mike Howlett. Who would have thought it would have put me through so much?

So, where now? I need something with a bit more less after that, so as it's the track after Enola Gay on the Steve Bale album my next jump will be to Safety Dance. Don't have nightmares.

0: I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper

All journeys have to start somewhere.

This journey is starting with I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trouper by Sarah Brightman & Hot Gossip. Or, in Spotify style, by Sarah Brightman, Hot Gossip. If you use the ampersand it won't understand what you mean. Anyway, it's a respectable enough song, although it's only on Spotify on those compilations they have with horrid cheap-looking covers, where the design focus is on how clear it is at thumbnail size. The way Ribbit Hole works means that it's the track's appearance on a specific one which is the fulcrum of the of the jump, even though the same recording appears in identical form on other ones. In this case, it's this one - 70s 100 Hits (2010, Sony Music Entertainment):

Lovely, eh?

It does have 100 tracks. I was not motivated to check whether they were all hits or all from the 70s. The track also appears on the following:

• Disco 100 (2009, Sony Music Entertainment)
• Disco - 100 Hit's - Dance floor fillers from the 70s and 80s inc. The Jacksons, Boney M & Earth Wind & Fire (2013, Sony Music Entertainment, possibly identical to the previous one but I only checked tracks 1-4, 43 and 97. The apostrophe in 'Hit's' is not mine.)
• The Best Year Of My Life: 1978 (2011, Sony Music Entertainment UK Limited)
• Pure... 70's Dance Party (2011, Sony Music Entertainment 

Spotify also offers us some pointless cheapo cover versions. It does this for anything popular, that and the compilations are two of the things that gave me the idea for Ribbit Hole. I can only think that the point of them is to make a little money from people playing them by mistake. There are versions by The Movie Band, "Dianne Spall, Latin System", Trap Stars, The Starlite Singers, The Royal Movie Band, Single Sessions, Gary Brown, and The Hit Co. which might not all be the same but I was unable to pay enough attention to tell them apart. 

one of the albums containing the Dianne Spall, Latin System version. I think I checked every cover I could use for this bit to find you the worst. Copyright 2010 Alhambra/Marathon, in case they come up again some day.

The Starlite Singers and The Hit Co. also have instrumental versions, as do The Hit Crew, and Mona Carita has a Finnish version. As well as being in Finnish it was much more obviously a different recording to all the ones I couldn't tell apart instrumentally. But she seems to be a proper pre-Spotify artist, with pre-Spotify albums, so she's not really the same thing.

see?

There are also various karaoke versions on Spotify, but I'm not going to go into them. I'd rather talk about the original. It's a decent record! Don't hold The Phantom Of The Opera against it, this is before she even met Lloyd Cole.

 a decent record, yesterday

It was produced by Steve Rowland. Steve produced Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky Mick & Tich (who Spotify manage not to call "Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick, Tich") and he was the singer in The Family Dogg. But that doesn't explain where he got his disco chops from. In 1977, the year before Starship Trooper, he produced and co-wrote Shake, Sheik, Shake (The Arab Hustle) by Sally and The Sultans. "OMG, he was behind that famous record that everyone knows" I heard you cry, and yes, yes he was. Incredibly, it's not on Spotify. Not even a cover version by The Starlite Singers. Not even a karaoke version. We will have to go off-piste.

 I think my very favourite thing about Shake, Sheik, Shake (The Arab Hustle) is that it's nothing like The Hustle.

Everyone respects and admires Sally and The Sultans for going out at the top, one perfect single and then nothing. They were like Manic Street Preachers only for real.

The song (I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper, not Shake, Sheik, Shake (The Arab Hustle)) was written by Geraint Hughes (aka Max West) and Jeffrey Calvert, both out of Typically Tropical, and the same writing team that wrote their smash Barbados. Can we say Hit Machine? Yes, I think we can. For one thing, because Barbados was on a German compilation called Hit Machine on the Arcade label. 

WHERE JUMP NOW?

Criteria may vary with the winds, the tides, and the wrinkle angle of an ickle puppy's nose, but today it's the most horrible cover of Jump 0 which means our next jump must be to Enola Gay.